nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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