how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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