dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
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i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
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I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
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