Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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