I hate all girls vehemently.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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