I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just melted my phone trying to make cookies. I think that's a sign.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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