What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
