Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
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