I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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