I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I'm hoping that by this time next year we will be smoking some weed at a gay wedding, asking "Mitt who?"
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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