My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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