check it out our google latitudes are spooning
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
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