My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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