i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
