I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
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