I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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