You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
