But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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