I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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