Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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