She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
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