we made out on top of his cat.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
