Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
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