I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
