True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
