found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
