if you like me you must not know who I am
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Randomize
