I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
