Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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