I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
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