A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
Randomize
