Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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