Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
