Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
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I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
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Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
do nipples grow back?
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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