sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Randomize
