Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
So many bounce houses so little time
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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