we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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