i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
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