I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
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