he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
She just used a chaser for red wine.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I need to align my fucking chakras
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Randomize
