I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
