Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
No need to call an exterminator, the ants overdosed on the leftover lines on the counter.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
