you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
