My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
