You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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