wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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