dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Randomize
