i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
why is half of my head shaved?
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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