Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
