We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
Randomize
