kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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