I want to have your abortion
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
