Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
