Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Randomize
