You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
