At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
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