i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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