I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
