I feel like i just miscarried Jesus's baby...
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize