Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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