i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
