yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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