he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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