the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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