if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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